28 Jul

Dear Steph,

How will I miss thee while you are in Japan? Let me count the ways…

At New Year when I have no one to dance to Madonna with.

Every time I hear/see/quote/think about Friends or Sex and the City.  This includes every time I go down some dangerous steps, eat a sandwich, realise that I have to live with a boy or get red Ross about something (50 times a day).

Every time I eat breakfast and you’re not there, and Mike hasn’t brought it to us on a makeshift tray with a choice of condiments.

At Christmas, when none of my friends have used their ironing board as a serving table.  Particularly if no one will let me have the quiz team-name ‘I wish it could be Quizmas every day’.

Whenever I see a dog.

Every time I look in the mirror, and raise my eyebrows because I ALWAYS do, and no one starts laughing at me and giving me ‘I know!’ eyebrows.

When it’s the morning after George’s birthday this year, and no one is in my bed adding ‘… who I got with last night’ to the end of every sentence.  Hopefully Cake will still have a bad case of necker’s chin though, so all will not be lost.

On my birthday.

When I have to start using the UglyCam3000 to record my life and take photos to show you because a) you won’t be there, and b) you are the only one of us who isn’t useless and takes photographs.

When I’m at the top of a castle and it’s really, really windy.

If I ever find myself in the Tut/drinking any drink with the suffix ‘and black’/doing a quiz where we don’t know any answers but are very enthusiastic and give it everything, only to get beaten by a team of smug old people.

A year isn’t that long.  And at least you’ll be able to cook me amazing meals when you come back. And at least I can come and visit you, if a doctor will ever give me strong enough tranquillisers to get on the plane.  And at least we are both in love with the internet. And at least you won’t be in Doncaster; even I’m not selfish enough to wish another year of that upon you.

I plan to think about all of those consoling thoughts when the former ones get too much, and all I can think about is that I can walk up and down your street all I want, because you don’t live here any more.

ps. be careful and always wash your hands.

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